Querying – a lonely process that wreaks havoc with your self confidence 

I started the querying process in earnest in October, after spending the summer researching literary agents in the UK and the US.

So far, I have sent out 20 query letters. I’ve received 3 rejections and one request for more details about my book. Nothing yet from the other 16. And this is just the beginning.

I know this is a long road that will undoubtedly continue to bring more rejection, and I have prepared myself as best I can, mustering as thick a skin as I can don. 

But it’s hard.

Each time I get a negative response, and remember I have only received 4 so far, a little rung from my ladder of confidence is shattered. How on earth do I weather this storm? I ask myself.

But, as if the powers that be could hear me, some words of comfort were delivered in the form of an instagram post.

“How can I make the pain of constant rejection end?” The post from @the_shit_about_writing blinked at me one morning, as I scrolled through IG with one hand, sipping my coffee with the other.

Pray tell me, I thought.

“Rejection is inevitable – but you can get better at receiving rejection” was the first thing I read as I swiped right.

But I’m human, I thought as the letters dissolved away.

But then some very helpful tips were presented, one after the other:

1. Create an Author Hype File – copy and paste the “good parts” of the rejection, avoiding the “unfortunatelys” and “howevers” and screenshot your beta reader’s positive feedback. Review the file anytime you doubt yourself or your dreams.

• Celebrate every little step – make a list of querying milestones and reward yourself for each one, whether it’s with a book buying spree or a spa day. Set your first query? Got your first form rejection? An agent requested your full? An agent passed on your full?

• Turn envy into encouragement – Instead of seething a every “How I got my agent” blog post, use it as confirmation that it IS possible to be picked up from the slush pile, whether you’ve been querying for a week or five years.

• Embody your Sasha Fierce – Even Beyonce sometimes needs an alter ego – version of her that is confident and unstuppobale. So when that nasty inner voice tells you you’re never gonna make it, ask: What Would [Alter Ego] do? Would the future best selling author in you give up or would they polish their work and send out another query letter?

These resonate with me, they are doable and things that actually DO make me feel better and make me want to keep going.

First task at hand – coming up with an alter ego. Hmmmm. Got to think about that one.

I will revert with updates.