Rejection Reframed: What Submitting My Book To Publishers Has Taught Me

For almost eight months now (not counting the summer and Christmas holidays), My agent has been submitting my book to publishers in the UK and the US. Like many writers, I started with hope—and then came the rejections. One after another.

At first, it was disheartening. Each “no” felt personal. But over time, I started to see things differently.

Rather than dwell in disappointment, I chose to reframe. Many rejections came with feedback—most very encouraging, some critical, but all useful. They reminded me of something important: I’ve written something good. Maybe even great. But it won’t be for everyone. And that’s okay.

Here are some of the positive quotes:

“This was such a shocking, ear-catching story—even the pitch alone, detailing how Anike’s father was a victim to a decades-long con, was horrifying to read.”

“Getting to peek behind the curtain of 419 scams was fascinating.”

“I found the material so compelling! Anike’s father is such an iconoclast, and her writing is really gorgeous. I love too how the family story is backed by politics and history.”

“There’s plenty about this project that’s appealing–the topic, the strong writing, the draw of family secrets.”

“I was swept up by how she sets some of these scenes, and her family story and the national history she weaves through it are really compelling.”

“She’s a compelling writer, and there’s an incredible story about loss, secrecy, and the terrible effects of a long scam on her father and on her family.”

“Anike is a wonderful writer and this is such an interesting setting, time and place.”

Here are some of the negative quotes:

The feels a bit more literary leaning and I don’t have a clear vision on how to break this one out in a crowded commercial market.”

“I’m struggling a bit to envision how we’d break this one out in an ever-fickle nonfiction market.”

“We have a forthcoming book that is also about scams that will be on our nonfiction list, we of course wouldn’t want these books to compete with each other on our list.”

“I think we’re feeling that it’s a little too tricky of a memoir market right now.”

“I hate to rely on the old editor chestnut of needing a platform, but it’s a pattern we’re unfortunately seeing more and more.”

“I like everything about this book and the author seems great but the prose just doesn’t wow me and for that reason I think I’ve got to pass.”

“There’s much to admire here—not least the uncommonly propulsive story—but I’m afraid I connected less with the prose style.”

“This decision is not reflective of the quality of the work, but rather our focus and strength in terms of packaging, positioning, and marketing books.”

“This one is a pass for me; thank you.”

“My taste leans more toward argument than narrative, so the project just isn’t feeling like a match for me.”

“Thanks so much for sending along Oduduwa Crescent–what a great project. Alas, I’m sorry to say I would need to see a stronger platform for this one.”

Reading these responses helped me step back and see the bigger picture. On re-reading all this feedback, I have several takeaways:

• The story, characters and setting seem to have resonated with pretty much everyone that sent written feedback which is so validating.
• Some editors love my writing style, others do not. Not everyone will like my writing – this is just fact.
• Timing and luck play a part – the other books a publisher might have on their list, or in their pipeline, will affect their ability to take on new projects if your work is considered ‘too similar’.
• Memoir is a hard genre to market – I hear this all the time!
• Platform, platform, platform. Many editors, particularly in the US, need authors to have some sort of platform… ideally millions of followers on social media. This is tough to achieve, but it is what it is, I can’t beat myself up for not being able to deliver this.
• Marketing is an important factor in decision making – many publishers are daunted by the prospect of marketing something they perceive as “different” or “unusual”.

So, what am I going to do differently?

• Keep submitting with confidence. I’m still so proud of the work I’ve created.
• Use the feedback to re-target my submissions, perhaps looking for indie publishers who champion unique voices and imprints known for taking risks or debut authors.
• Ask my agent to highlight the fact that I have 25 years of marketing experience. Unlike some authors, I am keen to jump in to support marketing efforts
• Remind myself that there is always self-publishing if the traditional route does not work.

Someone recently said to me: “Rejections with praise are not “soft no’s”—they’re encouraging nudges. They mean your work stands out, even if it hasn’t landed yet.”

So, for now, I will keep going. The gap between “not yet” and “yes” could be one more submission.

Wish me luck.